In a season where marriages are crumbling due to issues relating to wife-battering, Iniango Ogufere took time to raise a voice by writing her new book ‘Battered Roses’ which telles the compelling struggle of women in marriage.
Chronicling the impulse behind writing book, four young ladies, close friends meet regularly to review their book of the month and catch up on each other’s lives and generally be there for each other, until the course of their discussions change as they probe the disastrous happenings in the home of one of them.
‘’ I wrote the book because someone very close to me had gone through devastating domestic abuse. She left that marriage, but was never the same afterwards. I realized that there were many women going through the same thing and nobody was telling the story fortunately for most of us in this clime, even we get married, our parents call us into a room telling us that when we have problems at home, we should tell anyone. So people are going through the same issues and nobody is talking about it. We just put on nice clothes, make-up, come out pretending everything is all right. And I thought I needed to create that awareness such that people who are privileged to be close to people going through these kinds of abuse can look behind the smile and find ways to help them before the loose their minds and lives.’’
Taking a cursory look at Nigeria with a dynamic different culture, facing the commonplace dilemma, the Author recommends as key strategies to eradicating such nuances in the psyche of the average Nigerian, in the words, ‘‘ I like the word psyche. In the developed world, they have laws so you can actually go to the police to report and expect that something would be done. That does not happen here. For us to make change, it’s to first of all deal with the psyche, telling every woman she worth more. We must change it in the psychology of our children, and help them build the confidence to cry when these things should happen, so that they don’t hide it. All hand should be on deck’’.
The book profiles the devastating and heart rending effects of domestic abuse on the families of three different young women and how most of them will never recover.
Stating in strong terms the ideal role of parents who play a critical role in marriage and healing the pains and wounds women go through, she said, ‘‘Parents must begin to, as a form of responsibility, display marriage themselves. Because you cannot tell someone not to do something in their homes, meanwhile you are doing same. They almost strongly go against things that are not acceptable. Children will copy what they see you do. Parents need to speak, exhibit how important it is to treat each other with utmost care, love and respect, then children will grown up to act and ask for more in their own homes as well’’.
Recommending key strategic policy thrust of government in driving home this point, Iniango was fast to say, ‘‘I started to write the book when there was a lot of media attention on domestic abuse during Governor Fashola’s tenure, when he came out to address the issue. And unfortunately, maybe I am wrong, but I think only Lagos state has spoken out and loud about it. But it is happening everywhere. Every other state has to deal with it, and address it’’
Fielding a highly controversial and dramatic issue of child marriage in the light of her book, Ogufere dramatically evaded the topic saying, ‘‘that is too dramatic for me. I am not going there yet. Nigerians should wait for the next book titled ‘’broken siblings’ and it chronicles children suffering abuse and under age marriage’’.
The writer’s style is vivid and conversationalist – making reading easy. The drama is so intense that when you start, you can’t even stretch your hands for a cup of coffee much more put it down till you’ve devoured all 211 pages of the book. This is a must read for every man, woman and young person out there!
Battered Roses was published by Olympia Publishers, UK and released July 31, 2015 in the UK. Its formal presentation in Nigeria took place at The Four Points Hotel, Oniru on Independence Day – October 1, 2015.
Inaingo Ogufere is a Lagos based personal and business coach. Her day job is financial consulting and training while she writes on the side as Inaingo Ogufere or ID Ogufere. Inaingo is married with 3 children and very, very grateful to GOD!
Battered Roses can be ordered from Olympiapublishers.com, Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Konga.com, Idogufere.com and notable book stores.
The Battered Roses book launch tour will continue in Port Harcourt and Abuja.